sometimes, when I get bored, I just sit back and watch my tummy wiggle and bounce and do the wave :)
it kinda looks like there is an alien inside of me (which is a little weird), but I love this alien like crazy and I haven't even met him yet!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Waking up crying
the past couple of days have been a little on the difficult side. I'm cool with difficult, but it is starting to wear my body down a little. one day I worked 8 1/2hrs until just before 11pm and then had to wake up the next day by 8:15am to get to work for a 5hr shift. normally that wouldn't be too bad, but being in my 3rd trimester and starting to get sick, or something, is making it rough.
the past 24hrs our sweet boy has been trying to break out of my tummy. he pushes up on my tummy until my skin can't stretch any further and then he rolls around like tsunami waves. it doesn't hurt, thankfully, it is just uncomfortable after a few hours. looks cool... and weird... haha.
so, since I have been almost under the weather, physically exhausted, and being kept up by a rolling baby, sleeping becomes difficult. last night I had a nightmare. sometimes I think that I'm alright and getting better every day. but then I have a nightmare like last night and I wake up almost in tears.
it seemed so realistic... my mum went to run errands and my brother, sister, and I were in this very small house. a really bad thunderstorm was coming and I told them both to get on a pair of shoes and decent clothes just in case. I put on too big of boots and a pair of work gloves. I looked out the window and saw at least 8 tornadoes heading in our general direction. we all ran into the bathroom and grabbed onto the toilet. there we were... waiting... hoping nothing would happen. some time passed and we were okay. I got up to look out the window again and I saw more tornadoes on their way. we ran back to the bathroom and I just closed my eyes REALLY tight. next thing that happened was matty saying how everything was gone. I didn't believe him at first. it couldn't happen again to us...
when I moved the large pieces of debris from over our heads, we were outside. everything around us was flattened. a little mexican lady (the landlady?) showed up and was worried because we couldn't have our neighbourhood party that night and she wasn't sure how to get a hold of everyone. we tried calling my mum, but our cell phones wouldn't connect. we knew we had to turn the electricity off because of live wires, but I didn't want to. we had to save what we could of our stuff before it got wet from rain or got stolen. we couldn't lose all of our stuff again. I didn't want to tell mum we had nothing left because I had to turn off the lights. where was she anyways? I just didn't know what to do.
I woke up crying. no tears, but crying nonetheless. Jacob woke up and hugged me and rubbed my back until I calmed down. when I go to a place, or someone's house, the 1st thing I do is look for a possible place where we could go if a tornado would happen. would everyone fit? is there something to hold on to? how long would it take to get there? where is a backup place?
sometimes I think that I'm alright and getting better every day... after all, it has been 12yrs.
the past 24hrs our sweet boy has been trying to break out of my tummy. he pushes up on my tummy until my skin can't stretch any further and then he rolls around like tsunami waves. it doesn't hurt, thankfully, it is just uncomfortable after a few hours. looks cool... and weird... haha.
so, since I have been almost under the weather, physically exhausted, and being kept up by a rolling baby, sleeping becomes difficult. last night I had a nightmare. sometimes I think that I'm alright and getting better every day. but then I have a nightmare like last night and I wake up almost in tears.
it seemed so realistic... my mum went to run errands and my brother, sister, and I were in this very small house. a really bad thunderstorm was coming and I told them both to get on a pair of shoes and decent clothes just in case. I put on too big of boots and a pair of work gloves. I looked out the window and saw at least 8 tornadoes heading in our general direction. we all ran into the bathroom and grabbed onto the toilet. there we were... waiting... hoping nothing would happen. some time passed and we were okay. I got up to look out the window again and I saw more tornadoes on their way. we ran back to the bathroom and I just closed my eyes REALLY tight. next thing that happened was matty saying how everything was gone. I didn't believe him at first. it couldn't happen again to us...
when I moved the large pieces of debris from over our heads, we were outside. everything around us was flattened. a little mexican lady (the landlady?) showed up and was worried because we couldn't have our neighbourhood party that night and she wasn't sure how to get a hold of everyone. we tried calling my mum, but our cell phones wouldn't connect. we knew we had to turn the electricity off because of live wires, but I didn't want to. we had to save what we could of our stuff before it got wet from rain or got stolen. we couldn't lose all of our stuff again. I didn't want to tell mum we had nothing left because I had to turn off the lights. where was she anyways? I just didn't know what to do.
I woke up crying. no tears, but crying nonetheless. Jacob woke up and hugged me and rubbed my back until I calmed down. when I go to a place, or someone's house, the 1st thing I do is look for a possible place where we could go if a tornado would happen. would everyone fit? is there something to hold on to? how long would it take to get there? where is a backup place?
sometimes I think that I'm alright and getting better every day... after all, it has been 12yrs.
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