I don't understand...

i don't understand how somebody so amazing, so charming and generous, can be so hurtful. at first i thought it went unnoticed and that he was clueless to the hearts he was breaking. but now he knows; he can't be so ignorant as to not!
how many tears must escape the clutches of those beautiful, hopeful eyes of the girls who enter his life?
he treats them all like princesses. like they are the perfect girl in the world for him. he tells her he doesn't want to lose her. he says he'll never hurt her. hands are held. texts are sent. smiles are shared. secrets are exchanged. trust is built. and after all that happens, then he remembers. then is when he tells her he'll be leaving. they both want him to leave and serve the Lord, but they also don't want the happy moments to end.
it ends.
the promise to remain friends fades away like the fog as the sun rises, with no trace to be remembered. some might keep the trinkets, the memories. others might burn them. either way, scars are made on that poor girl's heart; ones she was trying to avoid.
he moves on. same sad story, poor new girl. she thinks it won't happen to her. i wish i could have warned her, but who would listen? only the breeze as it takes my words away, and even then...
i don't understand how somebody so amazing, so charming and generous, can be so hurtful.

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Things I've learned recently...

i love living at the Turpins! i learn so much and am reminded of even more!!!
i have learned that coupons and sales are your friend. sam's club is a little better than costco. offering to be a test subject for diapers gets you free ones. kids can learn from some computer games. parks are wonderful. bring a camera everywhere. it's okay to dream. crackers and cheese are more amazing than you may think. reading even just a paragraph of preach my gospel or the scriptures starts the day off right. meals can be stretched. throwing a fit gets you nowhere. speaking in a calm voice when stressed or upset, no matter how difficult, usually works. going to bed early isn't a bad thing. a hershey kiss a day keeps the smiles at bay ;)
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Taking Chances

"It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it."
this is what i seem to live life by. i have had issues with trust pretty much all of my life. i'm usually an optimist, but when it comes to something being done i don't know why i would designate when i could do it all myself. why risk someone not bringing cups to the gathering or forgetting a key ingredient? you know? maybe not. maybe that's just the way my mind works. hmmm...
so i don't give my trust out that easily, but when i do it seems to be crushed. perhaps i misplace my trust. that could be it. i keep my trust close to my heart in a nice little box surrounded by barbed wire and guards. but sometimes everything seems right and comfortable and believable, so i decide to lay my trust out to test the waters. the waters aren't always as they seem. hearts are broken. pockets run on empty. there are drinks without cups. i try; i really do. i often times read the quote, "We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy." i know it is true and i believe so do you. i guess it's just good to remind ourselves that life is all about taking chances because we " don't wanna be alone on this planet they call earth..."
right?
i know that if we live righteously, prayer and the Holy Ghost can be a guidance in our decisions. however, sometimes it is up to make the decision on our own so that we can learn from it. it might not be the outcome that we are hoping for, but the Lord is always there to cheer us on. He is patient and always loving and for that i am eternally grateful :)
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Fall '09 Summed Up

Fall was filled with laughter and tears, smiles and funny faces, planned goals and spontaneous decisions, sledding and swimming, boys and girls, coco bean and hot-n-readys, changes and consistency, prayers and scriptures, walking and riding, owing and receiving of ice cream and m&m&m's, dancing in the morning and dancing at night, ID & UT & WY, movies and Bones, quotes and music, potlucks and dishes, caves and cliffs, Big Judd's and Hogi Yogi, GNI's and GNO's,cinnamon rolls and monster cookies, workouts and fries, blind moments and blonde moments, my isabella and secrets, texts and late night phone calls, Thanksgiving and Halloween, daisies and ginger bread houses, the moon and clouds, homework and papers, piles of clean laundry and piles of not so clean laundry...

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