These two songs and tonight...

i can't stop listening to these two songs. so there is this one song that reminds a few people of me. i played it this morning cuz it was stuck in my head. after the 1st verse, sammi said that was just like me. haha. what a cutie. she really seems to admire me. i love her like crazy. i thought only one person would have me on their mind during that song, but after yesterday i guess not. then there is this other song i was able to listen to all the way last night. i can't stop listening to it. it almost makes me feel bad. not totally bad, but...i almost wish i could change something to make this song not be this one person's current song. it's so...i can't even describe it. sad? hopeless? heartbreaking? discouraged? it'll all be okay. chin up. tonight. tonight...lol. i was almost shaking on the 46second drive over to their house. i didn't want to go anymore as of that drive. i was nervous or scared or something. i didn't want to see a certain person. i knew it wouldn't be right. i hoped for it to be right, but i kept my hopes low so they wouldn't be crushed. a girl can dream, right? going there was just like it used to be. i entered into that wonderful home. there was yelling going from one room to the other. there were people coming up to me and giving me big hugs before they scattered to do what sister G said. oh how i missed this. weird, but true. with all the things that go on, i just hold my smile and hand out hugs. then i offered my services like i usually do. tonight, April and i cleaned out a good chunk of the closet under the stairs. it was crazy and piled high, as i'm sure most of everybody's closets look like at some point. however, now the floor can be seen, jackets are hung up, and i found exactly what sister G was hoping i'd find :) seeing that one person was...the only thought that came to my mind was 'how rude'. this person barely even looked at me. they have become more hick sounding and looking than the last time i checked. i wondered why i even went to any distance with them in the past, but i knew why. they have changed, though. this person isn't the same person that i grew to know and love. they were different. it's okay. there is a small part of me that wishes there was still that friendship - that bond. the one we had a year ago. the one that i'd write letters to every week and enjoyed hanging out with. it's okay, though. things change. times change. people change. all we can do is take what life throws at us and run with it, making the best of what we have. thankfully i believe i already have the best for me and i love him.
i was talking to sister G tonight about this love of mine. she knew i would find someone better. my ex treated me like a princess. he even called me it on a regular basis. but Jacob...oh Jacob...he treats me like the future goddess i aspire to be. i'm his number 2 (God is number 1 of course). he cares so much for me. i am easily happy. all he has to do is buy me a kitkat and i'm the happiest girl. we haven't really bought each other much, but i like it simple like that. what do people who buy so many things do when the money runs out? what have they based their relationship on? trinkets and pretty things? jacob has placed me as his other half. his reason to smile bigger. his future eternity. his treasure. i have never felt so cherished in my entire life. princess back then was good, but this is so much more.


<3

ps- it's the full moon ;)