One of the reasons you can't stand me anyways

i usually control my emotions pretty well. i rarely take offense. i'm slow to anger and i place my love carefully. i don't cry very easily and my spirits are usually pretty high. that is who i am. i just read something that stung, though. it felt like a slap across the face. it felt like the feeling i get when i didn't realize there was one more step down. my stomach dropped and tears came to my eyes.
"no one has ever felt that way about my siblings."
how could you say that? how could you forget? i would come over at least once a month for about 2 years to help out around the house until i left for college. i'd swim with your sibling and help them clean their room and house. we took on the task of sorting the HUGE scary pile of mismatched socks! the girls had no desire, so i made it into a game. we had fun. i helped them with their piano when i could and skipped institute a couple of times to spend hours studying with Kaitlyn for her big tests. i cleaned your room even when i had no desire to even step through that doorway. i fooled around with Daniel continuously and was clam with him even when everyone else was yelling at him. i helped Sister G make those testimony books and work on other projects. i'd stick up for the girls when Laura went on her sprees once in a while. i would drive them to activities and have some of the best conversations with Laura and Sister G and dad. dad and i would have food fights in the kitchen and he tried to help me understand what was wrong with me when my blood tests came back all messed up twice. do you not remember the letters i'd write to your mother and sisters? do you not remember the chocolate and Christmas plates i'd bring them or the moments i'd just sit with them? April made a sign name for me and she and i would have the funnest time signing and fooling around. i'd rock her baby for her and hugged her and help her out when needed. Kerstin and i shared thoughts all the time. that girl can be the chatterbox :) the 3 girls and Daniel and i would all work together to clean that kitchen listening to fun music and shaking our booties. you're family is SO important to me. don't you remember? remember when i was going to spend hundreds of dollars of the money i didn't have to fly down to TX last minute if your mother passed on? remember the fun your family would have when i was around? remember the love that was there? never mind. i understand. you are love struck and there is only one thing on your mind right now. it's okay. it's one reason you can't stand me anyways, i guess. it just hurt when i read that.
it's okay. Camry told me that she's felt this same hurt before. she said it goes away, and i know she's right. i just wish that you remembered things so you could appreciate those moments even when they don't happen as much. i hope your family doesn't forget like you have. i hope i have touched their lives like you and they have touched mine.


<3