Things have changed

he and i are starting week 6 of dating. i've never worked at a relationship so much. things just didn't click as well at first. there were days i was thinking about giving up. there were days seeing him would make me smile bigger than i had all week. there were days that i was frustrated with both of us and needed camry's opinion on the topic. there were days i fasted and prayed and didn't feel like any answer was coming. guess what. i have liked him for 6 day straight. that is the longest i have liked him continuously. this might be seen as sad or pathetic, but camry and i have been doing happy dances the past day or two. lol. i didn't want to see him at all last sunday. and i didn't. that was the 1st time i hadn't seen him for a whole day since we've started dating. it wasn't hard, because i didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes and ask what was wrong. i didn't want to tell him why i had been crying. how was i to explain that i cried myself to sleep saturday night because breaking up was all that was going through my mind? but then why the tears? the thought of breaking up with him made me cry. silent waterfalls of tears ran across my face as i curled up against the wall in my bed that night. i didn't want to break up. i didn't want that at all! so sunday came and i was on the verge of tears all day. monday came and i knew it was a new week and it was a better day. i've been hanging out with him everyday this week and loving every second of it. we went on a date last night. we ate pizza at the park and went to the best of guitar unplugged and split a McD's hot fudge sunday. the night was filled with our endless questions for each other. i love those. tonight i didn't want to say goodnight. i was content with him holding me tight and keeping me warm from the cool breeze as we sat on the bleachers. i was comfortable with just closing my eyes and listening to his heart beating it's wonderful rhythm. i didn't want to come home and work on my homework and study for my test and presentation. i wanted to have a superpower where i could just freeze time all around us. but grades are important to both of us, so we had to say goodnight. and now i'm blogging. haha. i should probably work on my stuff. i'm just so happy that i've liked him all week! maybe pathetic, but completely true :) he cares about me SO much and i am endlessly thankful for him in my life.


<3