So thankful for him

i am so thankful for him everyday, but even more-so last night. i was having a good day filled with making shirts with jacob's fhe sisters, getting extra points on my chinese test, i got a package and letter from my mum, the weather was nice, i worked on my millions of art propaganda flash cards... it was a good day. then i went to do my assignment for natural disasters. i spent almost 2hrs on it. i had to turn in the certificate at the end of this thingy that i had to do online. in order to move to the next step, i had to answer all the questions on the page correctly. yeah, i couldn't get the right answers to one part. it wouldn't let me move on to the next part. that was super frustrating. so, i didn't turn in that assignment. by then it was too late to go to Twizlberry, like i had wanted to do all week. that annoyed me a little bit, but i would just make another dessert. how about that poky cake stuff? yummm! oh wait, it takes 4ish hrs to set up. hmmm. peanut butter/chocolate rice crispy bars? oh yeah! ....oh no....the chocolate on the top has to set up. yeah, i wasn't gonna let my night suck when my day had went so well.
my package had ingredients for magic cookie bars (pretty much my favorite dessert!), and i planned to make those. well, the crust didn't turn out right. then the can of sweetened condensed milk wasn't working the best, because i didn't have a can poker thingy. the lid just had to come off, and then it poured on too thickish. and after all this effort...i didn't want to eat them. they hadn't even gone in the oven yet! what was wrong with me??? i kinda collapsed to the floor and looked at my feet as i asked that very question aloud. i moaned and said that i should never get pregnant, because i'd probably be so much worse than this. but then i realized that maybe it'd help me become sane and not insane like i was at the moment. i was annoyed with myself and the fact that i wanted something but nothing at the same time.
then i realized how much i appreciated jacob. he sat by the sink, on the kitchen floor, with me. he pulled me into his arms and cradled me, telling me that everything was okay. he told me that i wasn't insane and that the bars would turn out fine. he reminded me that i had my plate full this week. he reminded me of my tests and homework and lack of sleep and allergies...he said what i really needed was sleep. so, once the bars were finished baking, that's what i did. i curled up in jacob's arms and fell asleep (well, as asleep as i get around people) while he watched tv with my roommates. i really do appreciate him in my life. even if it's just for a hug or something as simple as a smile :)


<3