Yearning...again...

my roomie's dad is coming to visit her in a couple of weekends! i'm super excited for her. she has been working really hard to strengthen her bond with her dad and i'm so proud of her! our stories are pretty similar. because of that, we can encourage each other and she tells me stories about her dad going back to church and how he is improving his life in all sorts of ways.
i wish my stories were as exciting as the ones she has to share with me.
there are moments where i wish that my dad would come visit me at school. not many people know "the story" here. i can pretend that he's the absolute best and that he has rarely been the cause of any tears down my cheeks. i can pretend that we have tons to share and laugh about. i can act like it's not awkward and the way it should be with a father and his daughter. at least to be like my roommate and her dad... i don't think i'd call this jealousy as much as i would call it yearning. a yearning for things to get better. sooner. a yearning that i actually had a desire for my dad to come to my reception and dance with me. a yearning to want to see him and give him a super big hug. you know? it'll get better. i know this. i just have to be patient. i just have to email him and tell him i'm engaged to be married to the best man ever, for time and all eternity. hope is there; i just have to keep hold of it and never ever let go.


<3

(April or May 2009)