Hate is a really mean word

I don't normally use the word hate cuz it is really mean and strong and negative, but I can't think of a word that describes what this feeling is.
I ______ (hate/highly dislike/can't stand/don't understand)
-being called about a dr appointment from the end of 2010 saying that my insurance has been trying to get a hold of me for more info. and since it has been so long, I have to pay the almost $300 myself b/c insurance refuses to pay it now. the excuse of me NEVER hearing from insurance and that they were probably contacting my dad (the policy holder) who has been in the middle east for years and rarely comes back to the states (making is difficult for mail and such)...no excuse. I just get to be suddenly screwed over.
-not being able to get away from my maiden name. it is to the point, at times, that I don't even know what to tell them when they ask at the dr's office or walgreens or anywhere official. I introduce myself as Ward and that doesn't seem to work. my SS and license is Ward - why can't I get rid of my maiden name???
-trying to save money and make big plans for Jacob and I that we need (like a car), but things like this keep coming up and we go back to ZERO. it just kills.
ahhhhhh!

now that the venting is over with for today....
I'm trying to make a family management binder. there is a section for a yearly and weekly schedule, our Z goals, a weekly menu area, fill in the blank shopping list, a daily/weekly/monthly cleaning list thingy, receipt tracking list, plastic sleeves to hold the receipts... I hope it will make things a little less stressful. it is fun to make anyways. lol
the snow seems to be sticking! pretty much the 1st time all winter. it feels good! the cleanliness of the white snow, compared to the dead grass, is calming and enjoyable :)


<3